The moment February starts, people can’t stop talking about Valentine’s Day. They’re talking to their friends about what they can get their special someone, they’re wondering what their special someone is going to get them, and some are wondering if a beautiful, red, rosy proposal is on the horizon for them. On the surface, Valentine’s day sounds great… but is it really?

Many people have said that the season of Valentine’s Day isn’t all that happy for them. Maybe it’s because they still have a bit of winter depression in their systems, or maybe it’s something else entirely. I’ll get to the point – it is something else that’s making people blue. Valentine’s Day is a commercialized holiday that exploits “romance” and makes people feel bad about themselves.

First, the most obvious group being affected by the throws of Valentine’s Day is single people. If you don’t have anyone to celebrate with, it makes you sad; just like any other holiday. Imagine if you had to spend those holidays by yourself. You dressed up as salt, but you didn’t have a pepper. No gifts under the tree other than the ones you bought yourself. A microwavable meal sat at an empty table. This is the reality of so many people, but it shouldn’t be.

Believe it or not, there are people out there who are fine with being single. They’re out there living their best lives. They don’t have to compromise within their own living space. They don’t have to worry about which decor would make both parties happy, and usually they’re left alone – until Valentine’s Day. Then, it’s all, “Do you have a valentine?” “You’re sure you’re fine all alone?” “You don’t have to be lonely. Go out and find someone!” Look… you think you’re being sweet. You’re not. If they don’t want to date anyone, they don’t have to, but you’re making it out to be some odd thing that they’re single, some huge deal that’s only making them feel like they have to be with someone or they’re not normal. The introverted happiness of being by yourself is drained away all because of the hearts and cupid bows.

Spending Valentine’s Day by yourself is worse than the other holidays. If you’re alone during this season, it makes you think about if you’ll always be alone or if something’s wrong with you and all these other negative thoughts that aren’t good for your 

mental health. Or people think something is wrong with you because you are fine with being alone. There’s no winning here.

And you may be asking yourself, what about sending valentines to friends? Sure, you can do that. Some people will even be happy doing that, but why is it even a thing? I’m not just buying my friends things and showing my appreciation for them in February. I do it all the time. Trust me, if I didn’t like my friends, I wouldn’t bother using my social battery to talk to them. But, I do, so having this extra hoop to jump through is just pointless.

I know some of you are rolling your eyes right now. Just because I’m a single pringle doesn’t mean I should rain on your smoochy, rosy, unnecessary parade – but wait. I’m not just talking about uncoupled people. I’m talking about coupled people as well. Some people in committed relationships feel pressure from Valentine’s Day to do something great because if they don’t, they think their relationship isn’t as committed as they thought it was. It’s just another instance where going bigger isn’t better. Stressing about how to make sure you treat your partner “right” so society doesn’t judge you isn’t fun at all. This causes even the cutest couples to break up, and who wants to be broken up with on Valentine’s Day? I know I didn’t. But not everyone’s wishes come true, do they?

Even if couples do stay together after this toxic holiday, there’s still the expectation to do love a certain way. Fun fact – not everyone wants roses and big gestures as a show of love. Some people just want your time, your trust, and – well – you. Valentine’s Day bullies you into doing something big and great and flashy, even if that’s not something you would enjoy. Love shouldn’t be measured in material goods. That’s shallow. It’s a corporate scheme. Don’t fall for it. If your partner wants a movie night, give them a movie night! You don’t want to end up like those people who propose in public only to get rejected because they thought bigger was better.

All that being said, I still think Valentine’s Day is unnecessary. If you only do something romantic for your special someone once a year… that’s kind of sad. You should love your partner all year round, not just because there’s a holiday. There’s no need to point out that people are single. Some people like being single, but this “happy” holiday still makes them feel bad about that. If there is one thing you should take away from this it’s: you don’t have to be with someone to be someone. You do that all on your own. Don’t let peer pressure push you into a relationship. Don’t let Valentine’s Day dictate what your romance should look like. If you’re happy, then it shouldn’t matter what other people think.